Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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