I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize