My brain says no but my pants say off.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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