New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
