Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I want to have your abortion
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
