operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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