**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
