I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I got inside last night via doggy door
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
