Cold hands, warm shart.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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