I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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