Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
