Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
