I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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