dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
