What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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