Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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