I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
