I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
