i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
