Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize