You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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