What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
