My hand turned me down
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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