apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
