I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
