How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
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I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
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But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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