guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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