google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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