I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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