so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize