I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
