I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
