You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize