we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
