he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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