I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
