i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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