Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
