We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
