And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
