Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
