You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
