At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
