I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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