I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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