So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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