Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
