For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Im part way to drunk.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
