She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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