What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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