i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
