Operation Purity has been aborted
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
