Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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