just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
