i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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