Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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