i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
