come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
