i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
