I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I have post one night stand depression
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