i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
