How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize