So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We don't watch enough power rangers
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
