I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
