I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
