FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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