Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
