Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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